sonder* – n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.
*might be a made up word, but I adore the definition. It’s a word I think should be populated more often. Sure beats the hell out of “Bae” and “Yaaaaaasss.”
*****
So I’m on this dating website, right, and I send a message to this girl whose profile really resonated with me. She’s pretty, seems kind and has a really refreshing outlook on life. I notice that one of her favorite books is also one of my favorites so I used that as an ice breaker along with a little sample of my biting wit (yeah, right).
For those lucky enough not to be familiar with online dating, for dudes, 99.99999% of the time, you won’t hear back, unless you’re a ridiculously good looking dude, of which I am not. It’s the online equivalent of tumbleweeds rolling by in a ghost town combined with crickets chirping, laughing… at you. You can’t take it personally, even though it’s all one hundred percent purely personal, leaving yourself vulnerable for rejection time and time again, over and over and over, only to wake up the next day to do it again… like Sisyphus… rolling that boulder up the hill we call “love” only to see it roll back down and to repeat for the rest of eternity. And that’s being optimistic.
Anyways, she wrote back.
“YAAAASSSS! Wait, there must be something wrong with her,” I immediately thought. I kid. Anyways, it went something like, “Haha, bla bla bla book, bla bla bla bla bla book bla. So, what about photography do you love the most? By the way, you’re incredibly good looking!” (That last part I added).
My response went something like, “Bla bla bla, bla bla book, bla bla bla bla bla. Haha. Lol. But what I love most about photography is the people I meet. Whether they’re my brides and grooms or some of the bigwig movers and shakers of this world, getting to know people from all walks of life and being a part of their lives for that moment is endlessly rewarding. Bla bla bla, witty banter bla bla, what about you? ;)”
Or something to that effect.
And what I said is no lie. I feel like I constantly repeat myself on this blog whenever I’m writing about one of my brides and grooms and about how awesome they are, but it’s true. Melissa and Dan are no different!
Their day began in midtown, where they were getting ready and we moved on over to Central Park for their first look on the world renowned Gapstow Bridge. We then took a stroll through the park with the bridal party and got a few nice shots in (if I say so myself) and before we knew it, it was time to head to Upper Story by Charlie Palmer to get hitched and to party!
All in all, it was a wonderful day with people coming from far and wide (Melissa is from Australia so there was a large Aussie presence from her friends and family… though there was nary an “Aussie Aussie Oy Oy Oy” on that day, much to my dismay). Like with many most all of my couples, I left the event not tired and spent, but rather, exuberant and energized from getting to know such a fantastic couple and having witnessed a beautiful moment in their lives.
Sonder… it’s for a brief moment, but it’s that moment that matters the most. And that is what I love most about my job.
*****
Oh yeah, and in case you were wondering, I never heard back from that girl. That’s online dating in a nutshell. What can you do, besides getting back to rolling that boulder up that hill. One day it won’t roll back down.
Oh, did I mention Melissa and Dan met online? Look how they turned out. I’d say they made out pretty damn well!
Enjoy the photos, and stay dry out there!
~Jase
